You can spend a gazillion dollars on anti-aging techniques, but avoiding being OLD is cheaper. When I use the term OLD, I am not talking about wrinkles, but an OLD approach to life. Below are 12 ways you can maintain a youthful life, regardless of the candles on your birthday cake or grays at your hairline.
1. Don’t bemoan technology. Bragging how you can’t set your VCR makes you OLD. For one, VCRs are old. And for two, you can do it. People who love their gadgets usually love to help others love them too. Ask for a lesson.
2. Do not have lengthy conversations about the weather, traffic, or medical issues. Read books, listen to music, volunteer. This way you don’t have time to fixate on the mundane. OLD people have little going on in their lives so things like weather, traffic and doctor appointments become prominent.
3. Do not make any noises when sitting down or standing up. The law of gravity does not require a soundtrack.
4. Do not eat dinner before 5:00pm. The only excuse for eating this early is if you were having too much fun and missed lunch.
5. Do not arrive 30 minutes early. I’m for punctuality, but 30 minutes early is OLD. Nor should you insist on leaving anything good early. Stay for the whole game. See the finale. Enjoy the encore. Worried about traffic? See #2.
6. Do not talk about any kind of age-related specialty products you may require. Use ’em if you need ’em, but don’t talk about it. Enough said.
7. Do not use slang. I learned this from Dick Van Dyke. He was asked about the longevity of the humor from the classic Dick Van Dyke show. He said the creator, Carl Reiner, specifically refrained from using 60’s slang so the show would be timeless. Far out, Man.
8. Do not mistake staying current with looking foolish. I can name two people (but won’t because I live in a small community) who try to keep up with what are clearly all in their effort to appear young. Past a certain age, talking about the latest teen heart throb is ridiculous. And a little creepy.
9. Do not say you have the same hair and make up style from high school like it’s a good thing. While you don’t want to go overboard with what’s the latest fad, you also don’t want to be stuck in a time warp. I don’t care how slenderizing you think those stirrup pants are, it is time to move on.
10. Do not talk about how the world going to end. Preachers have been preaching the end times for centuries. People thought Mozart was ruining music. Elvis and his Pelvis was going to ruin America. We’re all still here.
11. Don’t stop having sex. I don’t want to embarrass anyone, but I asked certain relatives of mine when they stopped and was stunned to find out they hadn’t! And they were in their 70’s. Chicka-chicka-bow-bow!
12. Do not talk about the good ol’ days as if you all ready lived them. Joy is available each day. It may be in smaller doses and maybe you need your glasses to find it- but it’s possible (and worth it).