Dear Married Friends:
We single people love you, our friends, but you are really starting to get on our nerves. We would appreciate if you would read the following etiquette guide, and try to implement some change for the good of all. Thank you for your consideration.
1. Stop assuming that we can not relate to what you are going through because we are not married and/or do not have children. If you can relate to us, we can relate just as well to you.
2. Stop assuming we are not happy with our station in life. YES – a single person can go out to a movie or dinner alone and actually enjoy it. YES – a man can know how to wash his own clothes, clean his own house, and cook his own food. YES – a single woman can fix her own plumbing, mow the lawn, and change the oil in her car.
3. Stop trying to find a suitable marriage partner for us. We know you mean well. But can you really not see us when we cringe when you say, “We need to find you a wife”? No – you don’t. If someone comes along then maybe we will be interested in marrying and maybe we will not – but that will be our decision and we don’t appreciate anyone else pushing the issue.
4. Relatives – at weddings, stop looking at adult singles and saying – “You’ll be next!” Otherwise, we’ll start saying the same thing to you at funerals.
5. Those of you who have family that has adult single children – especially those who have moved out – don’t send graduation or wedding invitations to our parents houses (or worse – include our names as though we are still children). Find out where we live and send it to us directly, thank you very much. Just like you would have if we were married.
6. When you see a single friend whom you have not seen for awhile, do not, in the first minute of the conversation, say, “So did you get married yet?” You make it sound as though we haven’t started life because we aren’t married. If you didn’t see a ring on the finger, or a person of the opposite sex with us, and we didn’t say anything to you about being married – it is likely a safe bet that we did not. We could start our conversations with you with, “So, did you get divorced yet?” We do not. But that doesn’t mean we can’t start.
7. Under no circumstance should you make the assumption that we are gay. There is nothing more irritating than someone who questions your heterosexuality just because you are single.
Your Happy, Well-Adjusted, Self-Sufficient Single Friends