by Tami Culo
Over the years I’ve been through a lot of guys. Wait, not ‘been through’. That sounds a little loose. No offence to the loose girls. That’s y’all thing. I’m just going to say I’ve encountered many different types of men.
1. The sensitive, clingy guy who is bothered by everything. This guy can usually be spotted from a mile away but sometimes, sometimes they’re so cool about it that you wont even know until you get in too deep.
2. The insane, stalker guy who will not stop calling no matter how many times you ignore his calls or change your number. They tell you they always know where you are or “I see you even when you think I don’t”. They will not let go. I have called the police. Seriously.
3. The crazy one who feels everything will be solved if he slaps/punches you in the face or any other body part……or roughs you up a little bit, no matter where you are. And no, being rough is not always sexy and putting your hands on me with rage….let’s not even do that.
4. The assholes. THE ASSHOLES. Oh, my God. Enough said.
5. The rich kid who believes he can buy your affection with whatever’s in his bank account. Or wow you with his nice car and his designer watch and shoes. I’m not materialistic and if I want something, I’m pretty sure I can get it myself….if not now then eventually.
6. The spoiled young man who refuses to grow up, even though (physically) they’re obviously grown! Look here, USE THE SWEATY BALLS THAT THE GOOD LORD DROPPED BETWEEN YOUR LEGS AND CUT THE BULLSHIT. Not every woman’s gonna sit around and wait for you to get out of diapers.
7. And last but not least, the guy who does all the right things at the right times and makes you smile every day but then manages to slip through your fingers. (Whether by his actions or yours).
Even though I’ve experienced all these different types of men, I am no expert but I do know what I want….or at least I think I do. I’ll know what I want when I see it. Much like a great pair of shoes. You go to the mall with something in mind but then another pair jumps out at you from the shelf and you just have to have it. HOWEVER, though you might want these shoes, do they fit? Do they have the right arch? Is the heel sturdy enough to support you and the steps you’ll take in them? I think this is where most women fall short with choosing. You want it cuz it’s pretty and it would seemingly work well with you but is it worth what you’ll have to pay for it?
A lot of times, both men and women alike force things that just aren’t meant to be and this is where everything goes to shit. If you try the shoes and they’re too big or they squeeze your feet, put them back. They may be hard to pass up because you’re so fascinated by them BUT if they’re gonna give you hell, why get them? Some shoes that are too big can be stuffed but if it’s too small what do you do? Oil your feet and struggle nonetheless? No, dear. Move on to another pair. It may not be as gorgeous or breath-taking as the ones you had before but sometimes you’d be surprised how well they go with your outfit.
PS: if you haven’t noticed the literary device in this post, then it really makes no sense you continue.
Anyway, as I was saying. Not every sexy shoe is worth it. You can try and see how it will work but then when it starts stripping, or when the heel breaks…then what? I know it’s hard to let go but sometimes you just have to put them back and walk away before you disappoint yourself…and look stupid in public. A perfect fit is often very hard to find and you may just say fuck it and settle for some sneakers or some flip-flops. I had a perfect pair once but then as the years went by the mutual love that was present began to fade. Gradually, I just couldn’t wear them anymore. It saddened me greatly to have to cast them aside but maybe I don’t even need shoes. I’m pretty good barefoot.