Another head rolled at the close of the November 8 “Dancing with the Stars” results show. But before Nancy Grace fell victim to the boot just a week shy of the season 13 semifinals, Andrea Bocelli and Flo Rida performed, and DanceCenter with Kenny Mayne and Jerry Rice made its triumphant return. Here’s a full recap.
Co-hosts Tom Bergeron and Brooke Burke-Charvet kicked off the hour by welcoming the “DWTS” pro and troupe ladies, who strutted their sexy stuff to the sounds of “I Am Woman”. (Head judge Len Goodman looked a little disturbed. Well, there was a lot of black leather….)
And then wham, bam, thank ya ma’am, the first set of results were revealed! Tom and Brooke called to the stage reality star Rob “buttocks” Kardashian and Cheryl Burke, soccer star Hope “I love my partner, I really do” Solo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy, and war veteran and soap star J.R. “perfect 30, baby!” Martinez and Karina Smirnoff. The first couple ushered into the semis? J.R. and Karina. And joining them were Hope and Maks. Rob and Cheryl, however, found themselves in danger of elimination. Kris Jenner was not amused.
With that down, it was time for the return of Kenny Mayne, Jerry Rice and Len Goodman in… drumroll… DanceCenter! Ricki “Great” Lake was up first for scrutiny. Len praised her for her ability to “nail every performance” and Kenny made many references to Ricki and Derek Hough’s age difference. Up next, J.R. “Volcano Crotch” Martinez. Len called him “calm under pressure” and “relentless”. Kenny noted that “for a serviceman, he really seems to enjoy musical theater”. Uhm, okay. Rob “Kardancian”, which Len praised as “crisp” and “precise”, was the third DanceCenter victim. Kenny joked that his tenure on “Dancing with the Stars” 2011 exceeded the length of sis Kim’s marriage. Ouch. They also pointed out, via a taped montage, that Rob likes to pimp USC. Boo yah.
After a break, Brooke chatted up the two couples still awaiting their fates — Ricki and Derek, and TV host Nancy Grace and Tristan MacManus– in the Red Room. Ricki was philosophical about the potential for elimination, noting that “whatever happens happens”. Nancy declared “we’ve been down before but not out”, and Tristan said he was “delighted” with their Tango. So well shall see.
The night’s first musical performance belonged to Andrea Bocelli, who sang “More”. He was accompanied by the “DWTS” troupe and trumpeter Chris Botti. At the close of the number, Bocelli and Botti disappeared rather quickly. It was… awkward. Maybe someone had to use the restroom.
Following a break, Kenny, Len and Jerry returned for the second half of DanceCenter. Nancy “Full of” Grace was up next for scrutiny. Len noted that she was usually good, but not great, and that she’d need to kick things up a notch to be a real contender. Jerry joked about being drawn to her. Uhm, yeah. Last to face the music was Hope Solo, which Kenny called “the girl next door who can beat your ever loving as…” well, you get it. Then there were two awkward competing videos of Hope posing naked and Len posing naked. Shudder. I shuddered. Then they made fun of Maks’ previous remarks about it being his show. And then it was over.
Cirque de Soleil and an international troupe of dancers were up next, performing a montage from “Michael Jackson: The Immortal World Tour”. Those are some seriously bendy people. But man, it all reminded me that no one will ever dance just like the King of Pop. There will be imitators, but no equals. Still, an entertaining Macy*s Stars of Dance offering.
Grammy nominated superstar Flo Rida kept things moving forward with a rendition of his tunes “Love Can’t Handle Me” and “Good Feeling”. He and his posse of sparkly booty shorts-wearing girl dancers worked it. I didn’t understand a word he sang, but hey, it had a nice club vibe. If you’re into that sort of thing.
And then, more results as Ricki “not my best week” Lake and Derek and Nancy “brazen jezebel” Grace and Tristan hit the ballroom to learn their respective fates. While Ricki and Derek passed safely to the semis, Nancy and Tristan found themselves in jeopardy.
Following a torturously long commercial break, Rob Kardashian and Nancy Grace faced the final music on the “Dancing with the Stars” 2011 week 8 results show. After the requisite dramatic schmaltz, Nancy and Tristan were eliminated from the competition just a week short of the semis. Well duh.
Nancy said she was “so proud” of her accomplishment, but added that it’d been “all Tristan from the get-go”. She went on to praise the whole show and her family for their efforts on her behalf. Tristan, a first-time “DWTS” pro, extended his own thanks to the audience as well.
And with that, the four-pronged semifinal list is set, with J.R. Martinez, Hope Solo, Ricki Lake and Rob Kardashian still alive in the quest for Mirrorball glory. Watch next Monday night to see what happens next. Or you can just check in with me. You know I’ll be watching.