One of the everyday challenges every person goes through is how they can work or cope with difficult people in their office, family or social settings. The skill of working with any kind of person who shows up is crucial. Some time ago I was elected to be part of an interview panel, which incidentally was scheduled to interview some applicants for a high profile job, and one of the questions being asked all the interviewees was , what kind of people will you like to work with, if given this position?. Majority gave their answers, l could still recall some of the answers, one said he will like to work with smart people who are team players, smart thinkers who can function under pressure, Another said well, he is a serious person and like serious minded people in his team, no more no less, the other said, he is a goal getter and people he is going to work with are people who are driven and passionate about their job, another spoke out to say that she would prefer to work with people who are humble, polite, and target oriented.
Amidst this entire people was a woman who gave a different answer, she said in a quiet, calm and confidence tone, “I will like to work with whoever was available at any time”. Guess what? She was the one given the job!
If you ever come in contact with a difficult person, something made appear difficult and that is what I like to share in this material very quickly, you need a fair understanding of human nature on a general basis in order to know why people act the way they do in some situations. There are a few things I like you to know and that is you can develop your people skill in tough environment, and to achieve that you need to increase your emotional bank account, so that you don’t get wearied out. I want you to know that there are many ways you can spot out why some people become difficult:
- LEADERSHIP is all about People, Responsibilities and getting things done according to set objectives while helping each player to achieve their primary desires. Some people have not yet come to terms with this, that it is not the position that makes you the leader but what you do and how you carry others through the terrain of the times that makes the difference. And in case you are not a leader, you can still play your team role with people who are difficult there by understanding a few principles that humans are emotional creatures, and ninety percent of the time make decisions and take actions based on emotional pull than from rational thinking. The ability to play positively with these human emotions in a way that makes sense to the other person is a crucial factor in determining if they play along with you.
- Another thing you must know is that, nobody enjoys being difficult to others, there is something they are trying to avoid or trying to achieve by posing to be difficult. This will help you understand the fact that all humans tend to move away from things and people which cause them pain, and towards what brings pleasure. And they often will do whatever it takes to achieve that, so if such people are in a place where they perceive or feel they are being misunderstood or unduly criticized they react in ways that makes them look difficult.
- Sometimes this well meaning folks may just carry an air around them to make people and everyone know they are in “charge” because they seem to have an “insecure attitude “around people who don’t do things their way and these makes them more mindful of SELF than they are of others, how they feel is more important than how “we “feel. If you will do well with this kind of people , don’t play the flattery game when relating with them, because their emotion is “touchy”, just be polite and tell them their strong points and what great qualities they have, which is their valuable assets and politely point them to what areas you feel can stop that great quality they posses, remember every person likes to do things that makes sense to them, start from their admirable qualities and calmly but lightly hit that area where you feel they need to make a change. But do not try to “work on others”, instead learn to “work with them” while “working on yourself” first, the more you work on yourself, the better you can adjust to work with others.