And there it was in plain sight, I actually circled the block to make sure but on a paid bus bench ad the words were there THIS YEAR THOUSANDS OF MEN WILL DIE FROM STUBBORNNESS. So many emotions rattled through my body, vindication first – I KNEW IT; confusion – IN THIS WORLD OF MAN WHO HAD THE COURAGE TO PICK THE FONT AND THE TYPE AND THEN PAY FOR IT; curiosity – OK WHAT’S THE GIG?
As with every emotional shake-up I immediately refer back to me; selfish yes, but what other point of reference does one have at a time of crisis? Within the last month father in-law landed in emergency room with stroke like symptoms, angry with his aging body, furious about the fuss, but remaining stubborn on his rules of medical intervention 1) NOBODY goes with him to the doctor, it’s his business and no one else’s 2) His medical decisions and well being is in his hands ONLY. Oddly his stroke like symptoms were symptoms of his over medicating himself, but again he knows best. We joke about his stubbornness because it keeps us sane; when it comes time to make major medical decisions do we wake him from his comatose state to ask what would you like us to do?
My precious son young enough to still be suffering from pre frontal cortex mental illness, but alas old enough to know better returns home to have his second Diskectomy, second being the operative word, different area yes but close enough to consider was the re-habilitation after the first as strong as it needed to be, did he follow the program remain strong take preventative measures, embrace his weakness with health and well being? I being the older, wiser and responsible for his care take the position that this is going to be his second and last surgery, after care is vitally important and whatever is in our lives takes a back seat to the six week re-coop; everything is cancelled, after that hopefully I can pass the torch where he will carry it responsibly, carefully, and find health and well being with his new prescription drug free back. At three weeks against doctors wishes he is on a train to pick up his car so he can start school 150 miles away on week four. Ignorance, stubbornness at this point what’s the difference?
Husband doesn’t believe in post-mortem. When things go wrong there is no need to talk about them, try and figure out why things went south, when did they start going south, what red flags did we miss, and how can we at least minimize the odds next time around? No; stubbornness remains relentlessly steadfast so we continue to make the same financial, relationship, and social mistakes with the same results. Tired of being the bitch you bet and the rewards of being the bitch are endless, right? I rationalize our post-mortem with modern science, in the 1950s, hospital autopsy rates started falling from an average of around 50% of all deaths to 10% in the late 1990s. Currently, the rates are even lower at non-academic hospitals. To some, this decline represents a crisis in medical education, research, and practice, and deprives decedents’ families, physicians, and society of the many benefits of an autopsy. Obviously post-mortem is something our society doesn’t believe in, so why should I? Because damn it I do I just have to choose my battles carefully because it’s an upward battle and this battle will never win the war.
Stubbornness is defined as unreasonably obstinate; obstinately unmoving, it does not mention anything about men in particular so I guess it’s not a gender thing; a bit frightening to think it has possibly crossed over into our gender, especially when I know the word Bitch tends to be gender specific. Is this one of those differences between men and women we have to learn accept, probably.
I think for today I’m going to print out the ad This Year Thousand Of Men Will Die From Stubbornness and make sure all the men in my household see it and at least have it travel through their mental being. FYI the billboard campaign was run by the U.S. Government Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality Department targeted to get men to stop avoiding the doctor and to go and get the medical screening tests recommended each year, such as those for cholesterol, diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer and other illnesses. Truth be known as stubborn as they are the fact still lies deep within Can’t live with them, Can’t live without them.